inaclovenpine | (no subject)

(no subject)

[After this ill-fated conversation with Andrew Wells.]

The Caribbean inlet outside is having a storm.

Which is kind of weird, because the rest of the lake is just kind of cloudy and cold. The sky over the inlet is heavy with clouds and rain, though, and lightning flashes back and forth from cloud to cloud.

WHY ARE MORTALS LIKE THAT.

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"No," Matt replies emphatically, and then gentler, "no. Definitely not. And I mean I ... I forget what I ever told you about my own situation."

"When thy will, too, was bound unto another? I remember."

He nods.

"Do you remember what I told you about it? It's sort of a blur for me."

"Thou told'st me first that thou gavest consent, and to escape thy bonds" -- the voice alters slightly, to an imitation or echo of his own -- "'I'll have to want to.'"

The rain is down to a steady patter, now, not the bruising downpour of a few minutes ago.

"But then he let thee go. I know not why."

Matt winces faintly; after a moment to process the story, he nods.

"I have some perspective now I didn't have then. I did give consent--technically. In words. It was, um, what he did to get me to say those words that was the problem."

Ariel is silent; even the wind dies down a little, listening.

Matt hesitates a moment, then unzips his parka. May as well get comfortable for this part.

"He bewitched me. Put me in thrall. And I thought I had choices, or the idea of having choices didn't make sense to me; something like that." A shrug. "But deep down, I believed he'd kill me if he wasn't getting something he wanted. So I gave it to him."

"Such bonds are brittle," Ariel says. "They won't hold, if strain'd. I . . . I think. It seems. An oath forged so, in fear, in force -- is it not empty?"

"I think so."

Matt nods slowly.

"But it wasn't really an oath, so much as a relationship. You know, like--falling in love?"

"And what is love so forged?" Ariel asks, sounding a little lost.

He shakes his head.

"My theory is, that's why he let me go. Because one way or another, it wasn't going to hold. I mean, I wasn't in thrall all the time, but that was how it started, so--there was no place good to go."

"And he -- who held you -- wanted something strong?"

Matt shrugs.

"To an extent, I'll never really know. But what I think is, he wanted to remember what it was like to fall in love. It had been a long time since he'd been anything close to human; he'd spent so long just--consuming."

He'll never forget that bloody field, or the face of V's wife. Those things are part of him now, for better or worse.

"And being what I am, I could help him with that: because of my magic, and because I ... was just strong enough to stand up for myself. That caught his attention; maybe it made him think I was more worthwhile than other people."

"What was he, if not human?"

"Oh, uh--a vampire."

Did he really never tell her this part? Sheesh.

Ariel finally manifests enough of a human form -- flickering like a flame in a high wind, but there in front of him -- to give him a blank look.

He crooks a smile at her intermittently-present face.

"They drink human blood. In my world they're basically people with weird dietary restrictions who sunburn easily, but other places, they're more like monsters. I don't know exactly what kind of vampire V was, but he felt very old, and very powerful, and--dark."

Understanding dawns.

"Such creatures go by many diff'rent names. And older creatures are to be more feared."

Matt nods.

There are a few different directions he could go in, but he feels like he's done a lot of talking: he waits to see if Ariel will say anything more.

"I thought thee foolish, then."

She looks down at the sand.

"I did not know."

"I thought me foolish then," Matt says ruefully. "I couldn't really process everything that'd happened, I think it was easier to think I'd been an idiot than that I might've been the victim of something I couldn't prevent."

He pauses.

"But--I mean, sorry, I could've clarified this earlier--I assume we're talking about this because of Andrew. Right?"

"The servant of the Morningstar?" A crackle of lightning. "Just so."

Edited 2016-12-31 22:40 (UTC)

He jumps a little at the lightning, but nods. Huffs out a breath.

"Yeah. Andrew mentioned that he started out not wanting to work for Lucifer, and it reminded me of me."

"He wishes to return to him. To that. To be the cat's-paw thrust into the fire. That is not so like thee."

Matt rubs a hand up his cheek.

"Maybe it isn't. But V was inclined to let me go; I'm not sure what would've happened if he hadn't been. I was still basically a kid, I hadn't ever--"

He shakes his head.

"I didn't know what real relationships even looked like. And V could read my mind, so I wasn't even letting myself think anything was wrong."